A couple of submissions to Britain's Spectator, which asked for "toe-curlingly" bad analogies:
"The main course was as sinful as if loin chops cut from the Beast of the Apocalypse had been marinated in ambrosia and then flambeed over the fires of Hell itself."
"Watching this film is like snuggling amorously down into a warm four-poster and then finding that the other occupant is the unwrapped mummy of Rameses II."
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